Focusing on fear and discomfort, the piece moved between two sets of actions: reading lists into a microphone while filling my mouth with sweets, and attempting to hold cream in my mouth but gagging from the sensation. Throughout the piece I embodied a persona called Pseudochild, manifesting exaggerated childhood memories through and upon my body.
Fear, and publicly experiencing discomfort, became central to the piece’s development when I tested actions related to my disordered relationship with food. The lists were extended to be as long as possible, taking the audience through my fears, the bucket I wrote when I was fourteen and reminders of my late Grandfather. Planned but unrehearsed, the piece invited an audience to witness and share in my emotional and physical distress, sparking a preoccupation in my practice with performing ‘unattractive feelings’.
Live performance, approx. 1.5hrs, Oxford House, 2017.